Kai Chang

Schrodinger’s Heart

Schrodinger’s Heart

[noun] (SHRO·ding·ers HART)

Does she love me, does she not?That moment of agonizing uncertainty during courtship while dating someone new – when you are certain you are in love with your paramour, but you have not received confirmation/certainty if that feeling is reciprocated.

Like its namesake reference to the thought experiment from quantum physicist Erwin Schrödinger involving a cat suspended in a sealed trap that can be triggered by a subatomic particle that either kills or leaves it alone, the cat is both dead and alive until the experimenter opens the box to reveal the true state, a Schrodinger’s Heart is simultaneously filled with joy and meaning, and utterly broken. 

I knew I loved her from the moment she told me that very personal story about her grandmother on our second date, but it was too soon and too impulsive to blurt it out then. Then, work sent me to Germany for two months so I ended up with a Schrodinger’s Heart for three months before I could tell her and know she loved me too. 

He’s the sort of guy that prettier girls usually get, and I didn’t even bother talking to him, since I didn’t want to be hurt again. It surprised me that he talked to me and I resisted going out with for almost a year because I thought he was a player, who was only interested in getting into my skirt. I found out later that he saw me speak at a conference two years ago, fell in love with my words, read my public bio and had a Schrodinger’s Heart for me ever since. I almost didn’t give him a chance, and I am so glad I did.


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